Bid On Detroit's 'Crisco Fist' For Your Lard-Mimicking Fisting PleasureS

Remember last week when infamous Detroit erotic-art extraordinaire Jerry Vile put a giant can of Crisco in front of the Joe Louis fist? You can buy the can now — "fist not included," Vile warns.

Vile put the can up for bidding on eBay last night with promises to donate the earnings from the winning bid to a Detroit charity, though he doesn't specify which one.

A few people got in on the joke immediately, but for explanation's sake: Vile says the city of Detroit is getting screwed in bankruptcy, so a heaping of cholesterol-laden lubricant should ease the pain a bit. Fox 2 didn't get said joke.

The City of Detroit didn't take too kindly to the Joe Louis fist being desecrated like this so workers removed the can that same day. Vile warns it's a little damaged, but "that's like a bullet hole in an army canteen."

By the way, were you hoping to be all Minnie in "The Help" with this Crisco? Turns out, your arteries will be safely unclogged. "The Crisco in the can is a super thick stryo-based material, with painstakingly sculpted knuckle dips and coated with an all weather silicone based product for realistic shine-a-tivity!" Vile writes. But since there's silicone in it, maybe you can still fist with it.