Masturbating Spark Plug Guy Is Giving Politics One More Try

Jordan Haskins is not going quietly into the night. After some soul-searching, the Saginaw native busted multiple times for breaking into government vehicles and masturbating inside them is re-entering the race to fill a state House seat.

Haskins, a 24-year-old Republican, entered the race to become a Michigan state representative to fill a state seat, but his arrest record for numerous "cranking" incidents came to the surface immediately after he put his name in the hat. Let's revisit what cranking is:

"Jordan would remove the spark plug wires and sit in the car and masturbate while the motor was sparking and making noises," the police report states.

Haskins was charged with additional misdemeanor offenses related to a third incident at the mosquito control property in October 2010.

According to that incident report, Haskins again said that he damaged county vehicles by pulling spark plug wires to "masturbate while cranking the engine." Deputies said he told them the act is a sexual fetish he learned about online.

Haskins exited the race, but his name is still on the ballot. Election Day was this week in Michigan, and Haskins learned some people voted for him anyway. According to his Facebook:

To those out there who do not believe in my campaign...how does it feel that I've been able to get more Republican votes in my unopposed primary than any Republican for this office since 1996 with the exception of the 2006 primary?

I was elected precinct delegate with around 96 votes. Saginaw will have at least one person in a form of representation who still believes in Saginaw, God, and the Constitution. Will you stand with me now?

He told MLive that despite the felonious masturbating and the flip-flopping about whether he wants to stay in the race, he's still more qualified than his Democratic opposition.

"We'll see what vision Saginaw wants in November," Haskins said. "Me, the pro-life, traditional marriage, Judeo-Christian mindset, versus the progressive mindset that (candidate Vanessa Guerra) brings to the race."