'White-Nose Syndrome' Is Spreading Across Michigan's Bat Population

COCAINE JOKES, HOO-YEAH! But before you fill up the comments with those, let's be serious for a minute. There's a nationwide epidemic that just started infecting Michigan bats, which could cause a big problem for us people if we don't take care of it soon.

Bats are kiiinnnd of a big deal in Michigan. Anybody else take a trip to the Cranbrook Institute of Science as a kid, and remember how the people there were really excited about bats? Yeah, you know it: The Bat Zone! We love us some bat research in the Mitten State.

So when we hear about a disease spreading across one of our state's most beloved creatures, we have to take notice. "White-nose syndrome" is a fungal disease that causes bats to wake up early during hibernation and consume all their food too early. When they have no food, the poor bats starve.

The actual disease has no effect on humans and some of you may be thinking, "welp, less bats for me to worry about getting in my attic," BUT:

The disease could boost the population of pests such as mosquitoes and damage agricultural and forest products.

Say that again?

The disease could boost the population of pests such as mosquitoes and damage agricultural and forest products.

If mosquitoes take over Michigan, I'm getting the hell out of here.

Most of the infected bats were found in abandoned caves and quarries, which researchers advise humans stay away from because humans the actual carrier of the fungus. All of Michigan's infected bats were found in caves and quarries in the U.P., so humans, please do us a favor and stay out of caves and quarries in the U.P.

Photo via AP