Ypsilanti's 'Mystery Playground Pooper' May Have Been Caught

The children of Ypsilanti, Mich., may no longer have to worry about another person's feces soiling their play clothes. Police say they have a suspect who's responsible for defecating on a slide for months in a public park.

For six months, the mystery pooper was on the loose in Ypsi, which is baffling because Ypsi's a town where everybody knows everybody and you can't date anyone because they might be a distant cousin. (Ask me how I know? My dad's entire family is from Ypsi. Shout-out to the Big Dick.) The dastardly defecator prompted a local advertising company to put up billboards urging residents to be on the lookout.

Now, MLive reports that police have "made contact" with the pooper, believed to be a resident of a nearby halfway house. No charges have been filed.

A city councilman is glad that the town "can just put this behind us" (heh, behind) and hopes for no more poopers to disrupt the local playgrounds.

Screenshot via Fox 2